Learning to Talk
New friends are always very surprised when I tell them I used to be terribly shy with crippling social anxiety. These fears kept me severely isolated from enjoying life for many years, and it took me a long time of retraining my brain and pushing my limits to overcome these obstacles. I’ve evolved immensely in the past several years, but it definitely hasn’t been an easy journey.
There was a point in my life where I couldn’t walk down an empty street out of fear someone looking out of their house or car window would see me. I would drive to a store, sit in my car for 30 mins and then drive home, because the 10 meter walk to the entrance was too intimidating. I would consistently reject invitations for parties and simple coffee dates, because being in any public setting or around people (even if I knew them extremely well) caused me so much panic my head would fill with false corruptive narratives about myself.
For the first several dates of my life I could barely look men in the eyes or add to the conversation with more than a few words. I would get so upset afterwards and replay each second of the date thinking how terrible of a time they had. As a response I would punish my conscience.
Eventually I pushed myself to go on more civvy dates and started this profession, all still with this overwhelming fear and anxiety, but the more I worked on myself along with going on dates I slowly started to heal. I was talking to new people, leaving my house for restaurants and excursions, taking my time in public spaces without rushing to be out of sight. There are still moments where I feel shy or anxious, but it no longer controls my life like it did in the past. Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it truly does make progress.
One of the many things this profession has taught me is how to talk to people. And whilst my arsenal includes a wide range of topics it’s not what I’m trying to allude to in becoming the ever-growing conversationalist I am today. I’ve learned how to read body language and tone of voice, actively listen and engage with curiosity, question with respect, admit to uncertainties, appreciate silence and quiet moments. Although these skills sound ordinary to most it’s a drastic improvement for myself who would disintegrate at the thought of a conversation lasting more than a few words.
I share my story as an accomplishment I’m very proud to have achieved, but also for any client who is experiencing life adjacent to my past looking for change. For those who have missed out on the bare necessities of life due to fears of judgment and ridicule and are looking to enjoy living again. It is possible to heal, and it does get better.
I’ve met people from all walks of life, and I love creating a space where we both feel safe and comfortable. I understand how scary it can feel to reach out to a provider and bare your souls to another, and for that I commend your bravery and openness. Remember that these negative thoughts are all in your head, because we genuinely would love to meet you.
Although companionship is not an all-in-one remedy if you need someone to practice talking to or want company to explore something outside your house/comfort zone, then consider reaching out to a provider who can help make those transitions easier.